Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Less = More ?

Familiarity leads to liking; familiarity breeds contempt.

The saying originated from age old Aesop’s fable means: Uncertainty about each other leads to liking, whereas familiarity can raise dislikes.

This may be due to the multiplicative nature of the differences. Once an evidence of difference is stumbled upon, subsequent instances and information are more likely to be interpreted as further evidence of dissimilarity, leading to loss of mutual interest. People who know us well may not be so tending to be familiar with the excellence in us. But this saying cannot be totally true as we will be put to thinking as to how then can people stay happily married. However this holds more relevance within official space. If a boss or a manager is too familiar with his subordinates, he may not enjoy the necessary degree of respect. Same holds true with a mistress and her servant maids.

I have learnt from my parents that the secret to a happy togetherness is just loyalty and trust (towards self and on the other person). That's it, nothing more. In my perception, not being familiar enough breeds contempt in marital life. Perhaps the secret to a good marriage is becoming more familiar with your partner every day. In fact familiarity may breed love. However, the saying can pave its way if the personal space and personal boundaries are not well set, i.e., when the personal space and boundary is either set too less or too much.

Contempt arises only when what is shared is not with mutual agreement of both the individuals, and one or the other person politely goes along with something they dislike. Each time they do it they build more resentment, which from then accumulate. If both are in sync with each other, all seems great. It lies in our hands not to make contempt the end of the story. We need not have to stay bored of each other. Instead we can work to remind ourselves to set our vision upon the goodness and loveliness in our dear one and be re-enchanted. There is always the hope of a new day. I am still too young to comment further on this.(Laugh out loud)